I’ve seen a lot of articles similar to this recently:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20090620/hl_hsn/treatmentoptionshortenspathtopregnancy
The gist of it is that some couples can become pregnant quicker and for less money overall if they go straight to IVF and skip the IUI / injectible steps.
I’m not going to talk about the money aspect; that’s a topic for another day. What I do want to say is that these studies aren’t looking at the emotional aspect. IVF can be very overwhelming – there are a lot of drugs involved, and frequent appointments and blood draws. I personally didn’t find IVF to be that bad, but I’d already done 4 injectible cycles. I was already familiar with the drugs and how they affected me. We knew where and how to give the shots and it wasn’t intimidating anymore.
From a different angle, IVF seems like the last resort, the most drastic step. It feels like you’ve completely failed and need a doctor to make you a baby in a dish. I needed to know that we’d done all that we could before we moved on to that level of intervention.
It doesn’t matter to me what some study said, I still would have done the injectibles and IUIs. I needed that time and slower steps to progress to the IVF cycle. Without the IUI cycles, I would have felt MUCH more overwhelmed by IVF, and we wouldn’t have had any idea what dosage to start with. I’m happy with my decisions, and that’s really the key. You have to make the choices that are right for you and everyone has a different path.
My husband and I were one of the couples that went straight into the IVF cycle. The doctor said we could try 3 rounds of IUI with a 50% success rate, or we could try IVF with a 60-65% success rate. I persoally did not think I could handle the emotional roller coaster ride, am I pregnant is this test finally going to say yes, or no like all the other times? As well as, my husband (a doctor) is a numbers and facts man, and it just seemed like the best option for us.
We were lucky and blessed that the doctor supported our decision, and that our cycle worked on the first attempt. I thank God everyday we were so lucky. All I know is every couple has to make very hard decisions in their own fertility journey, and no matter what you have to do what’s right for you.
My husband I and were unlucky enough to both be infertile, so we had to go straight to IVF. I felt very fortunate though after attending so many resolve meetings and hearing of so many other women who had gone through too many injectable cycles and were too deflated to try IVF. I felt like I too would have wasted a lot of energy and money on IUIs if that had been an option. In our case our ‘fresh’ cycle didn’t work, but a frozen cycle did–(so don’t rely on the statistics too much!) We ended up with B/G twins.
I am completely deflated by our infertility treatments thus far. I do not feel that we got full disclosure of all the facts. We are now over 27k dollars into this, in debt (we weren’t before all of this), and after our retrieval of 12 donor eggs, only one has fertilized. The people in the office tell me I can try again; they think I’m joking when we can only try again if I sell a kidney. I try to tell myself that God is with me in this, and give it up to God, but I’m actually terrified that this won’t work. Any words of wisdom would be helpful.
Lalee – this journey is hard. Incredibly hard on so many levels. Maybe consider taking a break and re-grouping before trying again or at all. I also highly recommend The Cabin Counseling Center in Zionsville (see Resources page) to help you work through the right path for you. We wish you comfort and know that you are not alone. We are meeting next Monday if you’d like to join us – it’s always reassuring to be around other women who have been in your situation.
Can you tell me where you’re meeting? I don’t know if I can make it or not, but would love to talk with others.
Our one embryo that we had placed looked good, they said. I’m now in the position of waiting until next week to get by blood work drawn. I’ve done fairly well, until today; today am weepy and basically begging God for this one child.
If this doesn’t work, we cannot try again–we are tapped out financially. I thank you for your reply; it is helpful to hear from people who really “GET” what I’m saying.
It is so frustrating to know that we could have ivf in other countries for much cheaper with roughly the same success rates. I feel it is rather exploitative how ART is priced in this country, so that only adds to my frustrations.
I’m focusing on staying healthy, praying, and being at peace. Thanks again for your post, Lily.
We only meet once a month so seriously consider coming. We all know it’s hard to come, not really wanting to admit to having this issue. But what you’ll find is a group of nice women who are like you, have been in your situation and feel like you do. It won’t solve your problems but you’ll feel less alone and likely get some strength to take on another day of your journey.
Here is the meeting information:
Monday, Sept. 14th from 6:30 – 8:30 pm
Every 2nd Monday of the month – Rm. e104
100 W. 86th Street – north side of Indy
Plenty of free parking
Upon entering the church you will see the large stained glass artwork. Walk towards it then go up the first hallway on your right. The room e104 is at the corner of the hallway.
And here’s a quote on the topic of peace that I love:
“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there in no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” – Unknown
Hcg (-). Cannot afford another donor for eggs. So unfortunately, we are already done. I think only those of you here might know how I feel right now.
Lalee – I am so sorry. I know how painful it is to feel like the options have been taken out of your hands. Give yourself time to grieve this moment. And, just remember, this may be the situation now, but situations can change. You never know where you might end up down the road. I hope you are surrounded by people who love and support you.
Thanks, Lily. We have been doing just that, grieving and being together. we do have a wonderful support system, but as you know, this disappointment and sadness is profound.
Unfortunately, I have a hard time seeing that this is a temporary place we’re at…I’m soon to be 42, and I know that time makes a difference at my age.
I do know that things can change, but I’m so afraid that they need to change quicker than they most likely will. I’m trying to stay positive, but some days are better for that than others….
I do appreciate your messages, Lily. It is helpful to know others understand.
We all so understand. And sometimes the changes are not what you expect but it doesn’t mean that can’t still be wonderful. However, it takes time, and sometimes a lot of time to even be open to that possibility. I should know.
I wish you comfort on the bad days and relishing the good ones.
Does anyone have any experience with embryo donation? We are open to considering all possibilities at this point but we have not heard much about it. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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