I always find it intriguing how we might always have the same desire – to be pregnant and have a baby – but each of our stories has its own unique perspective. I happened upon this article in the New York Times about secondary infertility. It really surprised me how much this woman’s feelings are like my own even though she already has 2 children. In my mind I assume that if I ever have one baby that it will feel like enough – more than enough, right? Apparently that could be a big wrong. Now thinking back, I’ve heard stories about the desire to have children not ending after one child and actually intensified for wanting another.  It has made me stop and think – even if, as usual, there are no good answers just another layer of emotional turmoil to add to this journey. Anyway, thought some of you out there might also appreciate another perspective on this journey:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/30/the-guilt-of-secondary-infertility/

Last night I went to see the movie “Julie & Julia”. I read the book and the author, Julie Powell, does talk briefly about having PCOS and feeling immense pressure to have a baby. It’s not a central theme in the book but it’s just nice to have people openly acknowledge this issue. I wasn’t expecting the theme in the movie and it really wasn’t there in terms of Julie’s storyline. However, there are a couple of briefs moments where it is acknowledged with Julia Child. She and her husband are walking in the street and as a stroller goes by she turns and looks back in mid-conversation. I’m not sure everyone would notice this but as an infertile, this subtle gesture was not lost on me. Then later her sister marries, and she is also older, and sends Julia a letter that she is pregnant. As Julia reads it to her husband she breaks down in tears, all while being happy for her sister. Something an infertile can totally understand – joy and pain all in one moment. And that’s it. Nothing earth shattering. But again, it’s nice to see the infertility topic touched upon out there in mainstream media.

The Cade Foundation offers a $10,000 grant each year for either domestic adoption or fertility treatments. They accept applications for a very short time period each year and that time is NOW through September 1st. Access the grant application here.

Also, the Cade Foundation will host a teleconference tomorrow, Friday August 14, 2009 at 12:00 PM Eastern Standard Time, for applicants to ask questions about the grant application.

Conference Dial-in Number: (712) 775-7000
Participant Access Code: 167807#

Thanks to Lori LeRoy’s great blog, Fertility Foibles, about finding humor on the fertility journey, I discovered another great blog called 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility. Naomi’s tagline sums it all up: “Because crying every time you get your period doesn’t seem to help.” So check out both of these hysterical blogs and have some laughs this month, too!

Here’s a great response we received from a wonderful woman who attended our support group once. I thought it was very honest account of what happens on the “other side” of the fertility journey. We wish **** all the best for a health pregnancy of her and the babies.

“Thank you for sending the email, since our IVF round was successful I was unsure about contacting anyone, I thought it might make people uncomfortable or upset.  I know how I felt when hearing someone else had gotten pregnant and I didn’t want anyone to feel bad.  This has been such a hard pregnancy so far, I’ve had hyperemsis pretty bad.  From week 6 to week 12 I had to go to the hospital 3x’s for dehydration, I was hooked up to an I.V. at home for 8 days for dehydration, I was also hooked up to an zofran pump for 4 weeks,  and I lost 20 lbs total… I have to go for a weigh in tomorrow to make sure I am gaining weight.  I have been able to eat for about 1 1/2 weeks now, so I’m hoping that keeps up. The thing we have to deal with now, is we’re having twins, so the question EVERYONE asks is “Did you use fertility treatments?”  It gets old having to field that question, over and over again.  Only close friends, and family know we did IVF, but we say no to everyone else.