Indy Resolve » Moral Support

Support for dealing with a miscarriage in Indianapolis….

Lily — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 15:23:03 +0000

Dealing with a miscarriage is an incredibly emotionally and physically draining experience. Don’t be afraid to reach out to resources available to help you (or a loved one) to work through this tremendous loss. Thank you to Amy, current group leader, for compiling these resources.

Support Groups

St. Vincent Child Loss Group
1st Thursday 7-9
8550 Naab Road
Contact: Kathy Carroll (317) 415-7494

Community Health Network Child Loss Group
3rd Thursday 7-9 PM
7250 Clearvista Dr. Conf. Room A
Contact: (317) 621-5275 for more information

HOPE – A Pregnancy Loss Support Group
2nd Tuesday of each month
St. Luke’s United Methodist Church
Spiritual Life Center
100 West 86th Street
Contact: Rev. Marsha Hutchinson (317) 846-3404 x315

Memorial Service for all cremated babies from St. Vincent is held at Our Lady of Peace Cemetery

Leppert Funeral Home does cremations at little or no cost.

Most cemeteries have a baby land. While the land may be free, the cost of opening the grave and a vault can run about $700.

Sometimes a baby can be buried with a loved one in an existing plot. Contact cemetery directly for more information.

Could you use some Fertility Socks?

Lily — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:43:42 +0000

As I have been working on the www.infertilityeclass.com personal project, I had a woman named Emily contact me to ask for permission to post information about the upcoming class. (FYI – Pre-registration has begun!) I thought this was beyond cool but what she does is also beyond cool. Emily’s site is www.fertilitysocks.org and she wants to give infertiles fun socks as a way to look forward to their journey. She’s doing this on her own dime while trying to become an actual non-profit. So, if you want to know more, here’s the scoop. Want some socks yourself? Click here to sign up. Want to donate socks? Click here. Read her story below:

“What in the world do socks have to do with infertility?

There are no magical socks that can cure infertility, but they can lift the spirit of those struggling with the challenge. I started the Fertility Socks movement as I was dealing with my own fertility problems.

When discussing an upcoming procedure I was going to have, my nurse said to me, “Wear fun socks. It’s a good conversation starter.”

She is so right. As an infertile woman, my feet spend a lot of time up in stirrups – much more than the average woman. They are the highest point in the room during an exam, so my feet may as well be entertaining to all those present.

So I asked my friends for fun socks for all of my future procedures. They knew I was suffering, so they liked giving me a gift that made me smile. I liked taking a symbol of my friends support with me to the hospital… and my feet looked great.

Now its your turn. Infertile? Let us send you a pair of socks to brighten your procedure. Want to offer support? Donate a pair of socks, and we’ll send them to an infertile woman in need of humorous footwear and a smile.

Best Wishes,
Emily (www.fertilitysocks.org)

Meeting is this coming Monday, the 9th

Lily — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:42:51 +0000

So sorry that the main www.indyresolve.org listed the wrong date for this month. The meeting date is this coming Monday, the 9th. All the other details remain the same.

We are still looking for leaders to take over the group for next year. Otherwise as 2009 closes, so will the group. It would be a real shame to see that happen but as we all know, things sometimes come and go.

Also, sorry that the blog has been quite for a while, life has been busy. Those who are looking for support during the holidays, might want to check out www.infertilityeclass.com. This is a project myself and Infertile Naomi from 999 Reasons to laugh at Infertility have been developing. Not sure where it’s going to lead but hopefully we can give support to more women this way.

Would you take an infertility e-class?

Lily — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:02:01 +0000

999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility is trying to find out whether women would take an infertility e-class specifically dealing with the emotional ups and downs of the holidays. Take the short survey and share what you think about this idea!

Forward to your friends…10 things not to say to you….

Lily — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 01:57:08 +0000

Here are two posts that I came across discussing things we do NOT need to hear and remind us all to think before we speak.

http://eyeheartinternet.wordpress.com/2009/07/05/10-things-not-to-say-to-your-infertile-friend/

and then an additional one inspired by the first one….

http://zenpeacekeeping.typepad.com/zen_and_the_art_of_peacek/2009/09/10-things-you-probably-shouldnt-say-to-a-friend-who-doesnt-have-children.html

A man’s perspective….

Lily — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 01:46:29 +0000

There seem to be many blogs available to hear about the woman’s side of the infertility journey but not many from the man’s side. So, I am intrigued by this new blog, In The Name of the Father, which discusses the fertility journey from the husband’s angle. Thought it might intrigue some of you others, as well.

Check it out at: http://fertilityguy.blogspot.com/

HOPE Pregnancy Loss Support Group – an attendee’s perspective…

Lily — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:42:27 +0000

Some time ago we posted about another group, the HOPE Pregnancy Loss Support Group, that also meets at St. Luke’s UMC. One woman actually attended the meeting last Tuesday and had some great comments, which are shared below. If you’ve suffered a miscarriage you might also consider this as another way to work through your grief. While my miscarriages were a few years ago, I’m still considering going now. Anyway, here’s the feedback:

“As for the HOPE group, I loved it. I really wish I had known about it months ago. There were about 15 women there and based on what was said it’s a pretty regular group with a few people coming and going each month. At the beginning of the meeting we went around the room and shared our stories and the discussion just sort of flowed from there. Most of the women have children at home, some have experienced infertility*(*please note that infertility is not the focus of this group), and others had their losses many, many years ago and still come to the meetings. Overall, the group seems to be very compassionate. The December meeting is actually an informal memorial service for the babies. They’ve also recently built a small garden as a memorial to the babies. You can buy a plaque and inscribe it with whatever you want and then it goes on the wall. I was just really impressed with these things. They don’t minimalize your pain or the life of your babies. If anything, the group affirms that your pain is real and acknowledges the existence and importance of the babies which were lost. Depending on what you’re looking for I can see the group being a really great thing. It was incredibly comforting and therapeutic to know that other women have experienced similar things, have struggled with the same feelings of pain, loss, anger, etc. The only downside I can see is that it’s difficult to listen to the experiences of the other women–they are truly heart breaking. In some ways it opened up old wounds and hurt, but I’m not entirely sure that’s a bad thing. I think that talking about it with other women may actually be beneficial in the long run.” - Recent Group Attendee

If you think this could be for you, please contact Rev. Marsha Hutchison at 317.846.3404 ext. 315 for additional details. They also offer one-on-one support.

A nod to infertility in Julie & Julia….

Lily — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 02:14:23 +0000

Last night I went to see the movie “Julie & Julia”. I read the book and the author, Julie Powell, does talk briefly about having PCOS and feeling immense pressure to have a baby. It’s not a central theme in the book but it’s just nice to have people openly acknowledge this issue. I wasn’t expecting the theme in the movie and it really wasn’t there in terms of Julie’s storyline. However, there are a couple of briefs moments where it is acknowledged with Julia Child. She and her husband are walking in the street and as a stroller goes by she turns and looks back in mid-conversation. I’m not sure everyone would notice this but as an infertile, this subtle gesture was not lost on me. Then later her sister marries, and she is also older, and sends Julia a letter that she is pregnant. As Julia reads it to her husband she breaks down in tears, all while being happy for her sister. Something an infertile can totally understand – joy and pain all in one moment. And that’s it. Nothing earth shattering. But again, it’s nice to see the infertility topic touched upon out there in mainstream media.

Enjoy a few infertililty laughs this month…..

Lily — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 03:31:35 +0000

Thanks to Lori LeRoy’s great blog, Fertility Foibles, about finding humor on the fertility journey, I discovered another great blog called 999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility. Naomi’s tagline sums it all up: “Because crying every time you get your period doesn’t seem to help.” So check out both of these hysterical blogs and have some laughs this month, too!

Finding Balance

Karen — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 02:05:28 +0000

We talked a lot at our last meeting about finding balance and happiness during infertility treatments. It’s very easy to let all the doctors appointments and tests and procedures take over your life. But as Lily likes to remind us, you have to find happiness and peace with the life you currently have; a baby isn’t magically going to make you happy.

For a long time I wanted life to stop and wait for me while I progressed through this journey. I didn’t want to see anyone else’s kids, including my niece and nephew. I didn’t do a very good job of keeping up with my friends or family. I was just so frustrated by the whole process and all the failures we’d had.

When we switched to a new RE, we were forced to take a break while he did some more testing. I suddenly had a lot of time on my hands and realized how out of touch I was with my own life. I started scrapbooking again and got caught up with some of my friends. And I started feeling a lot better. So when we started fertility treatments again, I made a real effort to keep doing those everyday things I really enjoyed, like monthly dinners with my friends. It has really made a difference and I feel much less stressed.

So I’ve made a resolution to be more grateful and appreciate all the things I do have, and work on not letting infertility take over my life. So far I’ve been successful, and this summer has been a lot more enjoyable than last summer.