Here are two posts that I came across discussing things we do NOT need to hear and remind us all to think before we speak.
http://eyeheartinternet.wordpress.com/2009/07/05/10-things-not-to-say-to-your-infertile-friend/
and then an additional one inspired by the first one….
There seem to be many blogs available to hear about the woman’s side of the infertility journey but not many from the man’s side. So, I am intrigued by this new blog, In The Name of the Father, which discusses the fertility journey from the husband’s angle. Thought it might intrigue some of you others, as well.
Check it out at: http://fertilityguy.blogspot.com/
Could this finally be the test with all the answers?
Well, apparently the Church & Dwight Co., owners of First Response, aren’t getting enough of the almighty infertile dollar. Now there’s a new “fertility test” to obsess over even before you start trying this cycle. According to the product page, ”this an accurate test of FSH level to assess ovarian reserve (egg quantity and quality) – one of the leading single indicators of a woman’s ability to get pregnant.” Buy a 4-pack at CostCo for $18.99. 2 pack seems to run in the $20-$25 range. So, good luck this cycle and try not to be too depressed if you don’t “pass” this test the first time around!
Some time ago we posted about another group, the HOPE Pregnancy Loss Support Group, that also meets at St. Luke’s UMC. One woman actually attended the meeting last Tuesday and had some great comments, which are shared below. If you’ve suffered a miscarriage you might also consider this as another way to work through your grief. While my miscarriages were a few years ago, I’m still considering going now. Anyway, here’s the feedback:
“As for the HOPE group, I loved it. I really wish I had known about it months ago. There were about 15 women there and based on what was said it’s a pretty regular group with a few people coming and going each month. At the beginning of the meeting we went around the room and shared our stories and the discussion just sort of flowed from there. Most of the women have children at home, some have experienced infertility*(*please note that infertility is not the focus of this group), and others had their losses many, many years ago and still come to the meetings. Overall, the group seems to be very compassionate. The December meeting is actually an informal memorial service for the babies. They’ve also recently built a small garden as a memorial to the babies. You can buy a plaque and inscribe it with whatever you want and then it goes on the wall. I was just really impressed with these things. They don’t minimalize your pain or the life of your babies. If anything, the group affirms that your pain is real and acknowledges the existence and importance of the babies which were lost. Depending on what you’re looking for I can see the group being a really great thing. It was incredibly comforting and therapeutic to know that other women have experienced similar things, have struggled with the same feelings of pain, loss, anger, etc. The only downside I can see is that it’s difficult to listen to the experiences of the other women–they are truly heart breaking. In some ways it opened up old wounds and hurt, but I’m not entirely sure that’s a bad thing. I think that talking about it with other women may actually be beneficial in the long run.” - Recent Group Attendee
If you think this could be for you, please contact Rev. Marsha Hutchison at 317.846.3404 ext. 315 for additional details. They also offer one-on-one support.
I always find it intriguing how we might always have the same desire – to be pregnant and have a baby – but each of our stories has its own unique perspective. I happened upon this article in the New York Times about secondary infertility. It really surprised me how much this woman’s feelings are like my own even though she already has 2 children. In my mind I assume that if I ever have one baby that it will feel like enough – more than enough, right? Apparently that could be a big wrong. Now thinking back, I’ve heard stories about the desire to have children not ending after one child and actually intensified for wanting another. It has made me stop and think – even if, as usual, there are no good answers just another layer of emotional turmoil to add to this journey. Anyway, thought some of you out there might also appreciate another perspective on this journey:
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/30/the-guilt-of-secondary-infertility/
