I always find it intriguing how we might always have the same desire – to be pregnant and have a baby – but each of our stories has its own unique perspective. I happened upon this article in the New York Times about secondary infertility. It really surprised me how much this woman’s feelings are like my own even though she already has 2 children. In my mind I assume that if I ever have one baby that it will feel like enough – more than enough, right? Apparently that could be a big wrong. Now thinking back, I’ve heard stories about the desire to have children not ending after one child and actually intensified for wanting another.  It has made me stop and think – even if, as usual, there are no good answers just another layer of emotional turmoil to add to this journey. Anyway, thought some of you out there might also appreciate another perspective on this journey:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/30/the-guilt-of-secondary-infertility/

I recently found out about another local author, Christine Howser, who wrote a book about dealing with the loss of her twin baby boys. I haven’t read the book yet but imagine many of the lessons Christine learns would translate well to those of us dealing with infertility and even pregnancy loss. She’s also going to be speaking about her book at the Brownsburg Public Library on Monday, June 22nd from 6:30 to 7:30 pm. ****This event has been postponed due to a health problem. Hopefully to be re-scheduled later this year.*****

To purchase “A Different Kind of Mother” and read reviews, click here.

Our next meeting is Monday, June 8th from 6:30 to 8:30 pm at St. Luke’s United Methodist Church.

Many of us on this fertility journey have also experienced the loss of a pregnancy. It can be a devastasting experience.  There is a local support group called HOPE that meets at 7 pm on the 2nd Tuesday of each month at St. Luke’s United Methodist Church. This month it should be on Tuesday, April 14th. From early miscarriage and beyond, all are welcome no matter the stage of your loss. While they do not have a website, you can contact Rev. Marsha Hutchison at 317.846.3404 ext. 315 for additional details. They also offer one-on-one support.

Don’t forget our monthly support group meeting is this coming Monday, the 13th from 6:30 to 8:30 pm at St. Luke’s UMC.

We received the following email request for help with a book project:

I am writing about the possibility of sending out an announcement to your local group for an online survey to women and men dealing with difficulty having a child. The survey is a for a book that will be a guide on how to help people through difficult times. One chapter will deal with difficulty having a child.

The survey asks for individuals’ commentary on what are helpful gestures and comments, and what are not, by friends and family and coworkers when dealing with fertility issues and possibly treatment.

The book website is www.helpeachotherguide.org.

I would be happy to tell you more about the project, either over phone or by email. I myself am working with the University of California San Francisco on fertility issues. From the amazing response I have received so far from others in my shoes about participating in this project, I thought I would extend this opportunity to other parts of the country.  (I actually went to college in Richmond, Indiana, and loved it!)

Please let me know what you think, or if you have any questions or concerns that I can address by email or phone.

And if you want to see a sample posting blurb:

Have you’ve been amazed by people’s supportive gestures, and plain intuition about what to say and what not to say when you were experiencing difficulty having a child? Or sometimes, dumbfounded by what people don’t do or say? Here’s a chance to educate. The Help Each Other Guide at www.helpeachotherguide.org is asking you to share your experience using either an online survey, or providing an interview about your difficulty having a child. The Guide asks for your recommendations about what comments and gestures help. And what don’t. This is a chance to help people in your shoes get even better support from those around them. You can find information about the survey or doing an interview, or just learn about the project at www.helpeachotherguide.org.

Thanks so much for considering it.

All my best,
Kelsey